EVERYWHERE... The following story is from a book by Suet Fun and Shekar; "Gilding The Lily" (http://thestar.com.my/lifestyle/story.asp?file=/2008/2/17/lifefocus/20295184&sec=lifefocus). The book contains 65 stories of individual Malaysian women and one story, "Everywhere" is about Jeannie. I would like to thank the authors for the permission to reproduce it here. Incidentally, Jeannie loved white lilies and it was her request to have the abundance of white lilies at her funeral. *************************************** Everywhere She's everywhere. The cream frilled curtains that fringe the doorway to the kitchen, the way the dining table finds its cozy nook in the curve of the wall, the way the tea-lights burn, night after night when they are lit to release the aromas from her favorite oils and the way her scent lingers in the large wardrobe so that each time when the doors are open, Jeannie's voice filters through, as though she is still there. Her husband, Cheah Keat Swee, treads the fine line between feeling that she is and isn't here anymore. I know she is gone, but she's still here, he says, raising his hand and encircling the space in which she once lived and breathed. Her face stares at you from above, in numerous photographs taken with the family. She is impeccably dressed. She hated having her pictures taken in the end, he says, because she had become so thin. Jeannie had not been well for a long time. In more than twenty years of marriage, she had undergone eleven major surgeries for various ailments and caesarian sections, misdiagnosed with colon cancer and suffered from endometriosis. Still, Cheah and Jeannie had two children, a girl and a boy named Krystyn, now twenty and JJ, seventeen. She fought everything for a long time, he says quietly. Her family background was also wrought with challenges, and she had to leave home and fend for herself at a very young age. WHEN CHEAH MET AND MARRIED JEANNIE, HE HAD "A BLUEPRINT TO IMPROVE HER". HOW COULD I HAVE KNOWN THAT I WOULD BE THE ONE WHO WOULD BE CHANGED, HE SAYS WONDERINGLY. Cheah who was never brought up to be demonstrative learnt to speak of his feelings. She demanded that I express myself, he says, and I think I loved her so much, I wanted to do what was right. We always huddled together in the bathroom, she on the floor with her cigarette and I on the toilet seat, with my cigarette and we just talked, and talked. For many years, her constant illnesses led Jeannie to have an impending sense of her own death. She never mollycoddled her children and raised them to be independent of her. Even from a young age, they were taught to get their own breakfasts. She also had many conversations with Krystyn and JJ, speaking of traditional values and behavior that was appropriate and expected of them. In many ways, Krystyn says, she was preparing us to go on without her. And now that the time has come, the road ahead seems too hard. Despite all the careful prepping, the immense, inevitable sense of loss envelopes their home like a thick, grey fog. Hope, he declares, has died.*** Now he sits, man alone, nursing a gin and tonic, taking a last draw from the last stick of Virginia Slims, Jeannie's favorite cigarette, while Jeannie looks down from above. And she is everywhere, but nowhere. *** I had meant Jeannie's worldly hopes have died with her. Our hopes with Jeannie have not died. Quite the contrary; hope is what we are left with. (Keat, July 2008)

LOVE AND LIGHT WAS WHAT SHE SAID....eulogy by son, Cheah Jie Juan Life is a cycle like the world and learning from mistakes than to regret from them is what my mother once advised me. Moving towards the journey of life is what makes me reconcile, whenever I’m in pain, she was always there for me. Firm but with grace, she tucks me into bed every night when I was young. She thought me how to love when I was 14 and I didn’t have the right set of mind to realize or to give in love like she did. She inspired me to open up my mind and to feel free to speak my mind. My mother was like any other but with a superior guidance to help others to get through the hardships. And I knew she was a strong person in heart. She guided me with her eyes which tell me about more than just right from wrong, but also about love without any vindication. She taught me everything. She taught me that immediate families are the most important and as a form of primary priority. I was naive to take it as a lesson, but she never gave up on me and she had faith by her side that I’ll be a better man as a young man myself today. I still remember the time we had mother and son conversations which were most valued in my mind and heart than just a mere memory. She had her heart opened up to listen and she advises me with rationalities in terms of what’s going on in my life, what are my hopes and dreams, just through out everything that every child wishes for. And I’m grateful to have given that chance to have a peaceful vowel exchange with my mother. So did my sister. I will never know myself if I never gotten her as a mother. That’s wonderful. The stories she told me about herself, my father, my sister and I were fascinating and I’ll never forget her words which will remain in my head forever. Whenever I’m confused about life, she was there to guide me like a light shining a path to the truth. Love and light was what she said. She may have left, be she is never gone. She’ll remain in our hearts and will guide us in our hearts whenever, wherever and whatever we are in this life.

My Friend Jeannie...Eulogy by Teh Yoke Hooi I’ve known Jeannie for a rather long time, having spent many, many memorable holidays together, countless meals, and happy times. We watched our children grow from the terror toddlers that they were, through their awkward teenage years, to the young adults that they are today. I thought that having known her for so long would give me plenty to say of her, but as I sat down last night to write, I was at a complete loss for words to describe Jeannie. She was so many things to me, and yet I could not find the words to pin down this woman. How do I do justice to this woman and describe her in a few minutes all that Jeannie was – she could be so hilariously funny, remember her seemingly endless supply of naughty and off color jokes? And her often outrageous comments – about situations, and people, and about our husbands, and kids and ourselves? Jeannie was gregarious and she was warm. She was understanding, she was deep, she was spiritual, she was compassionate. She was certainly opinionated and not shy about it. Jeannie was one who lived her life without convention, without regret. She did not let fears hold her back, nor did she hesitate to live as she wished…… She lived her life always being true to herself, whatever it took….. If Keat is a Tiger, Jeannie is without doubt the Tigress. She loved fiercely and passionately and would always be prepared to be up in arms to fight for her loved ones. How many times have we heard stories of how Jeannie would terrorize thoughtless people and authorities whom had dared to threaten and hurt her precious cubs, Krystyn and JJ, and even her friends??? And we all remember how Jeannie loved a good party, don’t we? Well we are all here for you Jeannie. I can just imagine you beaming down on us now, with a Virginia Slim in one hand and a coke in the other, basking in all the attention! I expected Jeannie to grow old with me and the rest of our friends. She always talked about how we’ll spend our time living it up without kids in tow, about how we’ll grumble and complain about our daughters in law, and how we’ll compare medications. Well, I won’t be comparing medications with you Jeannie, because you have gone on to where physical pains and ills will no longer plague you. I am happy and glad that your spirit is finally free to roam and soar as the bird that you are….. I want to remember you, Jeannie for all the laughter that you gave me. For all the noisy boisterous times we spent, for the quiet talks we had, for the perspectives that you put on everyday situations and in our deepest emotions. I want to remember you for your wisdom, for your irrepressible spirit and your zest for life. And I want to remember how you dedicated your entire life to Keat, and to your children, Krystyn and JJ, your greatest achievement and legacy. Jeannie, I will miss you….We all will.. Teh Yoke Hooi (15th July, 2007)